Word of Encouragement (5/25/2021)
Let’s continue our reflection on Paul’s prayer in Phil. 1:9-11: “...it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”
Yesterday, we talked about the importance of praying for love, particularly for our love for others to abound more and more. Today, let’s talk about what love needs for it to be beneficial to others (as well as to ourselves in an altruistic way): knowledge and discernment. Love is a powerful force. When we love someone, we make great sacrifices willingly, without a moment’s hesitation. And we will consider it a privilege and joy rather than a burden. But love needs direction and guidance. It’s easy for us to think that, if someone really loves us, s/he will know what to do. To a certain degree, that is true. Love compels us to seek what is good for the person we love, not what we like or prefer. We try to put ourselves in our loved one’s shoes and try to see from his/her perspective. This will make us go a long way in loving another.
Even so, love requires knowledge and discernment. In order to see from the other person’s perspective, we need to know something about that person. There is a world of difference between saying, “If I were in his/her position, I’d want this,” and “I know this is what s/he wants.” But, of course, true love is more than just doing or giving what our loved ones want. True love does what is good for them, not necessarily what they want. Our knowledge of the other person is important because it will help us to know how to do what is good for him/her. But if our love is not grounded in goodness (which is different from niceness, which is to do whatever pleases others), it can hurt the ones we love rather than help them. That is why Paul prays that our love would be equipped with “knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent....” Dennis E. Johnson says,
“Christlike love is clear-sighted and sober-minded. We sometimes say, ‘Love is blind.’ Moonstruck couples are sometimes so infatuated with each other that they lose touch with reality. Whether teenagers or adults in midlife crisis, such blind lovers are oblivious to their own immaturity or incompatibility. Others see the warning signs, but the enamored couple dismisses friends’ cautionary counsel, rationalizing that naysayers ‘do not understand how special our love is.’ Friends, too, sometimes cling to blind, misguided loyalty, rather than facing a friend’s flaws honestly, daring to see and speak truth in love” (Philippians).
Only the God of truth (Isa. 65:16) and goodness (Mark 10:18) can tell us what is truly good. But we must be careful when we apply what the Bible says is good to the way we show our love to our loved ones. Again, we are not talking about what the Bible says is good, which is clear, but how we show it (including when, where, how much, etc., which requires wisdom and discernment). Even the Word of God does not offer a one-size-fits-all prescription for all people. Our Lord Jesus is a perfect example. The way he approached the Samaritan woman was different from the way he dealt with Zacchaeus, the tax collector, and with the demon-possessed man in the country of Gerasenes. How grateful we should be, not only for His great love, but also for His wise love!
If we love others, we should love them enough to be well-acquainted with God’s Word and to know our loved ones well. Let’s not assume that we know; let us humble ourselves to study God’s Word and our loved ones. And let us diligently pray that God would grant us His love and wisdom!